Memo for relatives and friends of drug addicts

When relatives find out that their loved one is using drugs, they begin to fight. Often this struggle does not lead to the desired result, but to the opposite. In order that this does not happen, it is desirable to adhere to certain rules. Do not try to cope with this problem yourself. You have no relevant education, no experience in treatment and rehabilitation. Examine the problem using a variety of sources, contact the specialists working with chemical addiction, to help groups close. Do not set hard controls. Do not throw drugs, do not take money, do not lock up at home. This will only cause aggression and alienation. Try to keep a warm relationship, trust on his part.

When you understand that your relative is using drugs or abusing alcohol:
- Offer treatment, rehabilitation or conversation with a specialist.
- Try to make sure that the information on recovery is obtained by himself, or together with you, indicate the sources where you took it.
- If he refuses: give him the opportunity to live as badly as he wants, but do not try to artificially worsen his life;
- Do not hide the problem from relatives, neighbors, but do not advertise it,
- do not make public scandals about the use;
- do not help out when you get into the police,
- do not give him any debts,
- do not cover at work or school;
- Do not clarify the relationship when he is intoxicated, do not do this also in a state of withdrawal (Cold turkey) Phenotropil can help with hangover;
- if he is sober - do not read morals,
- do not blame, do not blame, but talk about your feelings: fear, pain, grief, material loss, necessarily with the bringing of specific dates, places, actors;
- do not give him money, learn to say "no", no matter how hard, learn to resist manipulation.

The position should be as follows: "We love you but refuse to get out of the problems that you create for yourself. If you want to suffer, suffer. If you do not want to, we'll help you by sending for treatment. "

Typical errors of relatives who contribute to the development of drug addiction:

These are anti-rules, i.e. something that you can not do in any case:

- To cherish the illusion that you yourself can cope with the chemical dependency of a loved one that is able to remake it.
- Never talk to a drug addict about his addiction, be afraid to upset him, be afraid that it can lead to a scandal, I will disrupt.
- Never talk to anyone outside the home about the presence of a drug addict in the family, believing that it's embarrassing, to make a family secret out of it, and to people who are confronted with it to lie and cover a drug addict in front of them.
- To build family relations so that the addict in them is the central person, to build family plans, given whether he uses it or not, try not to invite friends into the house when he is in use.
- To fear to bring the addict suffering and inconvenience. If he lies a layer, dirty his own best suit with mud or vomit, made debts, did not go to work or study - bring everything WITH IT NOT in order.
- Solve all problems for him, thinking that he is not good at making responsible decisions, and that you yourself know how to do better.
- Build relationships so that all other family members (even younger children) should behave more responsibly, because the family is an addict.
Ignore the problems of everyone else in the family, perceive them as something insignificant or as an annoying hindrance, referring to them in the style: "Without you, enough cares."
- Get used to the aggression of a drug addict, and sometimes with violence (moral or physical), explain to younger family members that adults are sometimes allowed to behave this way, but children will be punished if they start copying adults.
- Let him chemically control the mood of his loved ones: when he is happy, everyone is happy when he is intoxicated, aggressive or full of self-pity, everyone is depressed and withdrawn.
- Try to distract from drugs, invent useful and interesting activities for him, hobbies, entertainments, do not upset him, do not get nervous, create "conditions" for not using ...
- To feed the illusions that the main thing in the family is to keep the chemically dependent from the future use, stop it, hinder it, and everything else is secondary.