Intensive motherhood in Russia

About the influence of psychoanalysis and feminism on the concept of motherhood and the Soviet gender contract. How to change the attitude to motherhood in different historical epochs? What is included in the concept of intensive motherhood? What impact on the concept of intensive motherhood development of psychoanalysis and the feminist movement?

Historically, in Western and other cultures in the Middle Ages and the earlier motherhood was not the main purpose of a woman. The main objective of the whole family, or of a human collective was basic survival, so motherhood did not give the woman any indulgences, she had to continue to work the same way as everyone else. We easily imagine it in any Russian peasant family, where the child was placed in a furrow and went harvesting, cleaning, mowing, and so on. It was not as important as it is to survive, the main thing was the survival of the whole family. Accordingly, those children who were born in the harvest period, die more often because a small child actually needs care. Even in the second half of the XIX century, mortality in the first year of life at birth in July, especially in the northern Russian provinces, reached 80%.

In Europe, the first change in the situation observed in the Middle Ages, rich in noble families. It was necessary to give birth to an heir, but it was still important to be kind, to submit to the man, that is motherhood no woman did not give special status. Some kind of special status and any special sessions related to motherhood, began to emerge in the Renaissance. For the first time it became clear that if the mother puts the child in some effort, especially in its education, training (of course, a son at the time), it is a more resource and successful people in the future. And, in general, it makes sense to do. But to a mother I could do it, then there should have been invested in the education of girls, that is, it was necessary to further educate mothers.

The quintessence of this ideology was Jean-Jacques Rousseau, who himself was actually a terrible childfree.

That is, he may have had children, maybe not him, and he gave them all to the shelter. Nevertheless, he created the ideology of intensive motherhood. Then it was the custom to take children wet nurses, often at the same time simply by sending them to the village by the mother herself, because the main thing she was left to live near her husband and fulfill their any social functions rather wife, their social group member and so on, and It is not his mother. And Rousseau said, "No, you have to breastfeed themselves, you have to educate them, you have to raise them must learn to understand what is this child is, and you need to make a man." Among the many educated women, mainly noblewomen originated the fashion for the idea, and in Europe, and in Russia. By the end of the XIX century, before Freud, it was dominant, that is, become the ideal of maternal behavior. The mother should be, firstly, to have children, and secondly, should be engaged in their education, to feed (itself or not - there were options), and she had to recognize the talent of the child and decide what to do with it, what will be its future, how would guess it. It was an intense effect. That is, the mother should give the child a lot of time, a lot of effort, and to the best of its ability, straining all its resources: education, skills and so on. Accordingly, there is no possibility to invest in it all their own work, in his own career was not supposed to. But in those days, and this could not be.

I read the diary of a Russian aristocratic mother, who had many children. She described as always wrong. She had two daughters and two sons, and they became her enemies, although she devoted all of myself to them. It's a classic story, we will probably do a lot of heard in my life, because, in principle, the type remained. It is believed that one of her daughters are not born for marriage and motherhood, and therefore it is necessary to form, she was there to work - for example, to be a teacher. In fact, more than anything in those days educated woman could do. The other, on the contrary, be a mother and gets married. Everything turned out quite the opposite, that is, the one she raised in order to she did not marry just ran away from home and married anybody, very much later resented his mother for everything, including the fact that it it learned nothing, it would be useful for such a life. And that she had raised for marriage, marriage is not published and became headmistress of the school, and also all the time complained that she had not enough education. The same happened with her two sons. This immediately shows limited and ridiculous nature of this image, however it is popular for a number of women. Although Freud after the image has been ridiculed and toppled from its pedestal, but the feeling that motherhood - the main purpose of a woman, that is a feat, associated with this ideology, which I have now described.

Freud, or rather even his followers - it is about a woman himself, about his mother said very little - it is shown as a devouring mother. This motherboard power, too much right to decide about the fate of a stranger, probably not very justified, because as a result of this image began to lose popularity. At the same time began to increase feminism, women began to want more life of its own, and at first they all refused to have children, especially those who were familiar with psychoanalysis. They thought: "No, in this role, I have, of course, do not want to", especially if they were children of these women, that is, they have as a result created a very negative image of motherhood. In the 60 years of second-wave feminism renounced motherhood, they said that motherhood - it is bad for various reasons, in particular because it is too much takes away from the woman and nothing she does not, and if it still becomes a mother, it inhibits their children. And then the third wave of feminism, closer to the 80-th year, his little rehabilitated. There was, for example, the book Adrienne Rich Of Woman Born: Motherhood as Experience and Institution, where the basic postulate was that as the Institution, as a social institution, motherhood really oppresses women, but as a personal experience that can be very good, but simply it is necessary to Seen from the standpoint that it can give the woman herself. This was in line with the idea of natural childbirth home, what you decide itself, what will you do.

Motherhood can be a way of your life, but at the same time you do not refuse from something else.

That is, it was not popular to be considered in this environment that motherhood means that you refuse from the profession.

I would like to mention the theory of good enough mothering - a theory a good enough mother, that is, of motherhood as one of the parties lives. It is, incidentally, coincides with the Soviet ideology, that children do you have, but they are in kindergarten or someone, and you're both happy to work and live a different life. In real life, everything was different. And while it was ideologically one side of life, that is, until the early '90s, many Soviet women (this is "post" it was hard to call it that) believed that the normal women's career path can be to have a baby very early, especially since then promoted early motherhood. Because children are good only in his youth, then the children will all be "wrong", and it is necessary quickly to them "to serve", then give in kindergarten or grandmother. And from then on only a career, personal life, and so on. To awake brains and improve cognitive function – use Phenylpiracetam, Cogitum, Picamilon, Noopept, Phenotropil and Cortexin.

Then everything began to change, because there was a layer of women who want to stay at home, or that wanted to be conservative, or were forced. Including in the country was a religious renaissance. The last time, around 2010, began to occur more and the state support a return to conservatism. They began to take various legislative initiatives, reinforcing the traditional role of women and prevent it to carry out any other tasks in life - and the indications for abortion have been falling, and more. There are a conservative order of the state. Because the state, apparently, wants many of the early family functions were returned back to the family: the education of children, including intensive, education and so on. Some women that also wanted to, but now it is no longer like it, because the school is so constructed that the first few classes teaching the child at school, if you do not care that it will continue to be, one must actually take a second maternity leave. That is, it is necessary to sit down and do the lessons with him, sometimes you have to learn it instead of teachers, because teachers have become unqualified. And I even teachers without blame, this is a problem in all schools of the Institute. These issues relate to women, because his father, if he is normally delegated to raise money. A woman, even if there is no father, still trying to do something in order not to lose this child. As a result, children are now unemployed mothers began to learn better, and the children of single mothers who have to work, learn to become worse because the control if it does not have a mother, does not have one. That’s how look modern forms of intensive motherhood.

There is theory of Soviet gender contract and several post-Soviet contracts. I believe that the Soviet gender contract - is implicit gender contract, which shall be signed with the woman. Working mother - a woman who had to combine several different functions, and they were all equal. It was intensively working on the production, to farm, too full, too, and very intense and always have children. Formally, it was a kind of a feat, and informally could always find some kind of help and arrange a small Italian strike. Children woman allegedly officially helped raise the state, but in fact family and at work. She would often leave and stand somewhere in the queue for food, instead of working, but it is in the later Soviet period. But the ideology was the same.

After the collapse of the Soviet Union, in Russia any variation. First of all I want to tell you about a sponsorship contract: a man and a concubine. In this case, it does not matter whether the woman's mother - as long as it catered to man and was very beautiful. This idea is very developed, went to the "glamor", which, I hope, is already on the decline, because it has reached quite unnatural forms. In this contract there was no job, no mother, and agriculture also does not matter, as there was only beauty.

Then came the contract woman doing career. At the same time she could have children, but in the end it is still very organized everything to do with these children, with the help of employees. Man this takes very little participation. There have been some attempts to make this version of gender-equal, but in general at the level of a society that did not work. Continued Soviet contract - a working mother, forced to work: it is not very willing to work, but at home, too, does not want to sit. This is usually a poor family, where everyone must work. I think that's the majority of families. The woman is still in the harsh conditions to combine work and motherhood. Now she already helps society, perhaps something less, something more. On this topic between me and the others are discussions, when it was difficult. Who is harder because of the increased requirements to how to be a child, how many sections of it should go to. They "eat" as much time in a woman, but not washing nappies. Previously, she was a woman must wash diapers, but the child at this time one walked on the street. Now the child will not let go of one very long, almost to adulthood, and he must attend a plurality of sections, and are increasingly engaged in all this the mother herself.

Finally, women are just sitting at home, do the housework and child-rearing. This contract may be two options: either it's soup + cleaning, that is the main thing - is that she prepared and ran the household; maybe sex + development, then there is some modification (here is my version). Now the second option has become more important.

Women should be very beautiful, is to look after yourself, to drive, to engage in the development of children, and for all that the husband may ask her to, that is, it is now her work.

If a rich husband, they may ask; if it is not a rich husband, to him will be another story, perhaps her husband will not be at all.

If the child is, they have to deal with a lot, it is now the trend. If in the early 90's it was a timid voice, but now it is the must - you have to. If you are trying to raise their children "in a simple" - no one would understand. In particular this applies to middle-class, better educated strata of society, but extends longer and lower. If this is not entirely marginalized sectors of society, they want social mobility for their children, want them to go to a good college, a good job, a good education, they are ready to get involved as well. Especially some women sometimes can not find a good enough job. And, perhaps, it is common choice. They think investing in a child, I do more good than if I worked as a saleswoman. This idea extends to the more educated strata of society less educated, because the first - it trendsetters, ie trendsetters.

Of course, there are critical voices, I was one of them. There are a number of situations in life in which a woman can not cope with this role. For example, a typical situation, when it is left alone, without a man. Plus requirements for female hedonism. If earlier it was not really, but now beauty is not for man, but for themselves. What matters pleasant hobby, a pastime for themselves, it is also becoming if not an obligation, something close to this concept. That you expect from your circle of women, "we must not forget yourself, too." Suppose a woman has a husband, a child, is not very highly paid job, she "must not forget yourself," and if anyone else got sick, the woman is in a terrible situation, because there are no public institutions that helped her .

In Russia, the system works in such a way that the child be taken away from you, unless you're doing something completely criminal. But as long as you do not do anything to you and no one will help. Mother's Help, assistance to the family - we have it does not work. Does it work in other countries - a question that should be to ask people, researchers residing there. But there is no intermediate step of helping people in difficult life situation. And it is very often single mothers.